My morning routine is actually not a routine of any sorts at all. It is a complete mish mash of chaos, procrastination and general rebellion. It is actually so bad that I would rather endure my little darlings all day day in day out on holiday then have to put myself through the torture that occurs in our house between the hours of 7-8:45am.
The school run. Actually, the running to school bit isn’t that bad it’s the getting out of the door bit part that stinks. “Can you do your teeth now darling?” ..”can you please do your teeth” to “I’ve asked you a billion times do your b****y teeth now just get in and b****y do it!!” And so on, no parent up and down the land will be unfamiliar with this joyful aspect of parenting. “It’s half past 8 why the hell have you got the guinea pig out??!” Or “your tooth has fallen out and you think you’ve swallowed it? Don’t worry it will just come out the other end” and “no, we are not painting/playing monopoly now” ah, procrastination is a wonderful thing, does it not demonstrate an active imagination?
So, what is the answer? Bottom line there isn’t a definitive answer as such, even setting your alarm for 5am won’t cut it, if your kid wants a poo just as you are heading out of the door then it makes no odds what time you get up; you are scuppered. I hate living by the clock, I will do my best to get there as near as the stipulated time as humanly possible and that’s about it. I resort to bribery “do your teeth and you can have a chocolate biscuit” coercion “do your teeth otherwise the rabbit gets it” shock tactics “do your teeth otherwise they will all turn black and smelly and the dentist will have to pull them out with pliers” and emotional blackmail “do your teeth because mummy is very sad now and I’m going to start crying”
The chocolate biscuit method is usually the only one that cuts the mustard.
So, I asked some of my other mummy friends for some tips..
Organisation is key. Book bags, PE kits, show and tell items, homework etc, needs to be in the hall and ready to go the night before. A last minute search for these items will really slow you down.
The same applies to school uniform. It needs to be laid out the night before and ready to put on once kids are up and washed. Then, and only then are your little ones allowed downstairs to have breakfast.
After breakfast kids need to be brush teeth and to avoid and deviations or distractions if possible it is best to do this downstairs.
General consensus is that the telly, although tempting in the morning only serves to distract from the task in hand. We used to get the kids dressed in front of it, the magic box has a wonderful hypnotic effect that allowed us to pull the clothes onto an otherwise wriggling and squirming kid. I now recognise that this was bonkers and actually the backlash incurred when the telly went off dramatically offset any perceived advantage.
So there you have it. It’s all down to military boot camp style preparation. Unless of course you are rich enough to pack your kids off to boarding school or hire a nanny.
Good luck! If you have any other tips/experiences please comment below, I would love to hear from you…
In the mean time, hang on in there,
It’s nearly the weekend,